A TALE OF TWO CITIES

I’m not sure of the story’s origin, but when it was told to me during the Summer of 2013 it started a personal journey for me that I will be forever grateful for…


Bert was a traveller. Whilst on his path he spotted an elderly gentleman sitting on a bench just on the outskirts of the city he was approaching.  After engaging in conversation, he asked "What are the people like in this community?"
The elderly gentleman carefully studied the traveller and asked, "What were the people like in the last city you visited?"

"Oh!" replied Bert with a frown, "They were not so nice.  They were distant, devious, untrustworthy, just trying to get an edge on me and even trying to cheat me.  I really had to watch out for myself all the time.  Not at all a good experience!"
The elderly gentleman also frowned and answered "Well, in this city, the people are pretty much the same".



A little later, another traveller named Deirdre approached the same elderly gentleman, still sitting on the bench. After a short conversation, the traveller put to him the same question: "What are the people like in this community?".  The elderly gentleman also returned the usual question "What were the people like in the previous city you visited?".
With a smile, Deirdre said: "Really great! They were open, friendly, always volunteering help and offering direction.  I felt really welcomed and had such a wonderful time!"  The elderly gentlemen smiled back and answered "Well, in this city, the people are pretty much the same".



- This story is a useful metaphor of how we often travel throughout life, from place to place, team to team, organisation to organisation, relationship to relationship, often carrying a same inner perspective. 

Repeatedly, we confirm what we believe to be out there, as we move on to different environments.  Perception alone is well known to be a projection and ultimately a self-fulfilling prophecy.



Whilst coaching in personal development, it’s quite mystifying to witness how many individuals and professionals move from company to company, from team to team, from boss to boss, from partner to partner, etc. in the hopes that they will experience a different pattern or outcomes.  Only to confirm a fundamentally similar and repetitive type of conclusion.

“The grass always seems greener on the other side” goes the saying… but the trouble is that we often take ‘our’ grass with us.

Luckily, there are ways to counterbalance this type of self-confirming cycle. 

Could the experienced elderly gentleman have been a future or solution-oriented guide? For example, he could have asked: "What kinds of people are you looking to meet?" Or: "Can you describe the ideal community for you’re looking for?".

When we ask ourselves these sorts of questions, we define our desired futures more accurately and have a clearer vision for all the different contexts in which we want to interact and grow.

Doing this can help us have a different expectation, open ourselves up to new experiences or versions of reality and go on to confirm that these are indeed possible to achieve.

Now, starting your mental journey as a life traveller.  What would your ideal city look like in which you want to live and work?